Devotion
How could I be more devout?
I accepted Jesus as my savior.
I could not fill enough pages or write enough words
That could express my love for Him.
Countless hours I spent begging and pleading for mercy
To turn me into a female…or take these thoughts away.
Continuous prayers sent forth to heal me of this torment!
In Jesus’ holy name.
I studied your Word, helped your children, and loved your people.
Been told that you are Peace.
While my mind was farthest from it.
Years I devoted to you.
I raised my children in your Word.
My marriage built with you as its foundation.
I have prayed for… and witnessed miracles.
My daughter is a testament to that fact.
Yet here I am… after all this time… still ensnared.
Physically I am male
And mentally I am female.
They are still not congruent.
You will always be my God and I will always love you.
Yet I have so many questions that have never received an answer.
I know you love me but why have you left me in the dark?
Why have you chosen to keep my mind and body at odds with one another?
Fighting this, my mind was in constant torment and chaos.
Accepting that I am female has alleviated that.
Only now they are replaced with fear.
Fear of the ignorant people that populate our society.
It has taken me years to accept this blessing.
And yes despite all it has put me through, I consider it a blessing.
What torment must society endure to accept it?
How many will be lost, how many martyrs will there be?
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