Well, I was at WalMart yesterday and ran into someone I used to go to church with, she was in the checkout and it took her a minute to recognize me but she did. I waved and kept walking and ever since then I have been feeling terrible. The bad thing too is she knows about me, she doesn't know how far I have come but she still knows about me. I can't figure out why I didn't talk to her, I am not ashamed... I am not sure.

Janis Joplin

I just seen an article that said Lindsey Lohan may be playing Janis, WTF! I think you need someone to play Janis that is a lot more humble, she was an average girl and that is exactly the way she liked it. I don't think she would approve at all about Lindsey playing her.
I know we have no way of knowing...I don't think she can pull it off, I think they are making a mistake if they pick her, in my opinion.
Whoever they get needs to be really in touch with their feelings, really run on emotion and not be afraid to let it show.
I think they should pick Nikka Costa, from her looks anyways I think she would make the best one.

Well today I spent my whole day with a toothache, I have never had good teeth in the first place so you would think I'd be used to it, right? I also spent the whole day listening to Michael Jackson and Janis Joplin, I love both of them both were geniuses in their own right. Please don't give me grief, i am not comparing them, just saying I think they were both great. To bad Janis died at 28 I think, way to young, guess that is what heroin does for you.

100 things about me

100 things about me

1 I love to read

2 I love music

3 I like to be alone

4 I like small groups, no crowds

5 I sleep silently (I think, I know I don’t snore)

6 I love art

7 Learning new things

8 I walk fast, people are always telling me to slow down.

9 I wear size 12 shoes

10 I remember very little about my grandparents

11 I love to write

12 I have 3 beautiful kids (Chris, Nathan, Elizabeth)

13 I am very emotional

14 I sometimes like to disappear for hours

15 I almost got a USMC tattoo…Whew that was close!

16 AS a child I loved mom to read from a world book encyclopedia

17 I slept on a sun porch throughout high school

18 I love the night time

19 I love fantasy

20 all time greatest show…Star Wars

21 First car was a Buick Century 1977

22 I very seldom drink pop (soda)

23 My best friend and I made our own radio station on a cassette tape

24 My spouse and I drove a cross the United states twice

25 All three of our kids were born in different states

26 I once faked loosing control of my bike and then did, that hurt.

27 I have hit 13+ deer while in a car

28 Totaled 2 cars because of the deer

29 I am sarcastic…sometimes

30 My brother received stitches twice because of me

31 I have been paddled 5 times in school

32 I would like to play the violin

33 I like Nascar

34 I love all Cleveland teams

35 I tire of routine

36 I love computers and all they do

37 I collect fairies

38 I tend to be dramatic

39 I love catching people off guard and seeing their reactions

40 I love different cultures and all that entails

41 I like to make people laugh

42 I have a very active mind thus giving me a bad memory

43 I despise distasteful lyrics in music, but I love eminem and kidrock

44 I try not to eat fried foods

45 I prefer not to eat meat more than twice a week

46 I will try anything, even if I have tried it previously

47 I don’t like spiders…sorry Charlotte

48 I don’t use shampoo

49 I can’t grow my nails long, they are very thin

50 I am very impulsive

51 I despise it when people eat with their mouths open, very irritating

52 I am shy until I feel comfortable around someone

53 I love to buy things for people

54 I love E-bay

55 I hate when people drive in the fast lane and don’t get over for faster cars, it doesn’t matter if they are going the speed limit…get over!

56 I hate people who hate :)

57 I love learning anything about history

58 I am a feminist

59I love CSI

60 Sometimes, I have trouble with authority, especially if they are full of ignorant ideas

61 I am easygoing

62I love games\movies\books with spies,thieves and assassins

63 I am a Pisces, my rising sign is a Pisces, and my moon sign is a Taurus

64 I am very unorganized and sort of messy

65 I love to dance…but not in front of people

66 I broke both my knees

67 I was in the Marines

68 I love to give massages especially to people I care about

69 I lived in 6 different states

70 I despise plans, especially for my life

71 I watch maybe less than 10 hours of TV a month

72 I think it is abhorred for people not to read for pleasure

73 I love role-playing games

74 I seldom get angry and if I do it is forgotten quickly (usually)

75 I am a procrastinator

76 I am almost always on guard when in public

77 I love Hippie culture

78 I would love to travel with no aim and live day-to-day

79 I get bored of jobs easily

80 I am easily distracted

81 I have had 2 poems published; I would like to publish a whole book one day.

82 I do not photo well

83 I love nature and love being in it as long as I am comfortable

84 I can sometime's be stubborn

85 I love animals but don’t care for pets

86 Love is the cornerstone of life

87 I love yoga but my knees give me problems

88 I don’t believe in horoscopes but believe being born under a certain sign affect's your personality

89 I believe other religions aren’t as wrong as some think but I am a Christian

90 I love to sing but no one likes to hear me

91 I am a spiritual person and dislike organized spirituality

92 I had a semester in a Native American college (Winnebago)

93 I am not afraid of the dark

94 I am good at reading people unless emotion is involved

95 I hate smoking but it seems every friend I have…smokes?????

96 I have never partook in drug usage

97 If I wouldn’t loose all my hair to get rid of it I would have dreadlocks

98 I will eat all of one food on my plate before starting on the next

99 I like fresh squeezed lemonade and mint tea

100 I despise western movies and “pro-wrestling”

19th year

That's how long it would have been had I been able to stay married. I still, even after being separated for 4 years, still love her to the point that I can't be with anyone else. when will I be able to be with another. I still cry over her, I still think about her almost continuously.

She told me today she was sorry for messing up our lives, she didn't it just happened, it didn't work out. I would marry her all over again, without hesitation, even if I knew it was going to turn out the same way.
Despite everything Teresa...I love you.

Natural hair

Well it has been almost a month since have used shampoo on my hair, I have dyed it though, I am sure that defeats the purpose of the whole thing, but I can't stand the thought of all that grey.

But anyways about the shampoo, i don't miss it at all, the course I am taking now seems to be working, so I am sticking with it. I also have a conditioner used for African Americans which I thought was pretty natural, well once I started reading the ingredients I found that not to be the case, so for conditioning I think I am going to stick with the olive oil and egg, worked real good. I am also considering buying chamomile to put with the mixture, rosemary, lavender...something.

Another dream

Hi all, i had another dream again about my best friend. I think I posted on it in my blog before but can't remember, so I will write about both here.

My first dream was the one the caused me the most problems, Trina is a very good friend and I want her to see me as a friend, a girlfriend and nothing else. I had a dream that we were intimate together. Well when I awoke I was very disturbed, I cried and wrote it down. I had never thought I looked at her that way, ever since I have never told her and am very sad by it was well.
I just had another one a couple of days ago, not near the level as the last one... I kissed her... on the lips.
To me this ruins my whole thinking, I want to be trusted and not betray her friendship and have her look at me differently.
I just want to be a friend!